Although, I haven’t reached my year just yet, tonight’s revival made me decide to write. It spoke on the “Here and Now” and the fierce urgency of the now, so I am taking advantage of my now. So! I thought I had a layout on how I wanted to blog about this journey, but I’m just gonna go with the Ghost and see where He takes us.
First off, I want to dedicate a song to this journey and this song is the very first song I’ve heard when I gave my life to Christ (2/11/2013) that broke me ALL the way down:: “Dear God” by Smokie Norful. Please take a listen. What I’ve learned so far is that God is good. I know that’s like a cliché phrase, but it is really real. He is more than enough (El Shaddai) and in the very beginning I used to say it, you know, but as time went on, I began to believe it and now I know it. As I look back over this past year, the way I’ve seen God come in, shake and stir things up, and deliver has been ever so amazing! In this one year alone, it has been better to me than my many, many years living in the world. When I hear the song “Can’t give up now” and it says “nobody told me the road would be easy”, all I can is say, “Hmph, Hallelujah..tell me about it!” They ain’t never lying! But!! If it was easy, everyone would be travelling on it. I’ve learned that once you change/start living right, people start leaving and throw that at you. I will always hear, “you changed”, “you a church girl now”, or “boy, you shol not the Danika you used to be” and guess what!? I’m not! And I’m happy I’m not. I used to get upset when people would come at me like that, but now I’m grateful when I hear that because I know that He is working and it is reflecting in my life, because you should know by my fruits; what I am producing and how I am living.(Matt 7: 16-20) Some people would say that my life is boring because all I do is church, school, work, and home; but in all honesty, my life is quite fulfilling. I don’t have all that unnecessary drama from being around drama driven people, I don’t have the heartaches and headaches from dealing with the wrong type of guys, and I don’t have that emptiness or void from giving myself away to people who didn’t have my best interest at heart. I would get asked the question, “Is it really that serious?”, and the answer is YES!! Yes it is!!! It was that serious when I was out in the world having to be drunk before I can go out anywhere and have a good time, it was that serious when I just had to have him whether he had a wife or girlfriend at home, it was that serious when I was putting together a plan in place to travel to another state and go strip; so answer me now, why it can’t be that serious for me to live for God!? All the things God has forgiven me from, healed and delivered me from, I OWE Him to be “that serious” for Him! God is ever so patient with me. He is using His very own delicate hands to patch up my wounds and heal my scars. When I didn’t love myself, He loved me. When I tried to kill myself, He didn’t let it happen. When I drove home drunk because I knew “I got this”, He took the wheel, for all the tears I’ve cried, He has been blessing me with more smiles. God is doing things that I never imagined was possible. I figured I would just get caught up with some guy, become a baby momma, and be content with that; but He is showing me that He kept me from that because I am MORE than that. I am a virtuous woman (Prov 31:10), I am a God-fearing woman, I am a wife, I am a mother, I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Ps 139:14), I was created in His image (Gen 1:27), and I was NOT a mistake!
I’ve learned that God is a comedian. He has a GREAT sense of humor. The very last time I said I’m not having sex until I was in a “serious and committed relationship” for the umpteen time, I guess He was like, “She keep saying this but not doing it; Ima show her” and shol nuff, here I am saving myself for marriage! Now what is a more serious and committed relationship than that!? Haha.. He is one funny guy! They don’t say “be careful what you ask for” just because. There is a true meaning behind that. The Bible says ask and you shall receive (Matt 7:7-8). I’ve learned that God is keeper and even when temptation arises, because it will, He definitely has a way out for you (1 Cor 10:13). I’ve learned that He is a restorer and all the things I’ve lost, He has replaced (1 Peter 5:10). I’ve lost worldly friends and He’s given me Godly friends, I’ve lost worldly desires and He’s given me Godly desires, I’ve lost myself and He gave me a better me, I’ve gave my heart away and He took it back and placed it right where it needs to be. God is a GOOD God. He wants for all mankind to know and see Him for that. He is the Lord in the land of the living (Ps 116:9).
My day to day song is “Brighter Day” by Kirk Franklin. Every word in that song is my exact feeling. “When I close my eyes and think of you, and reminisce of all the things you do..I can’t imagine my life without you, it’s like paradise now I know that it’s real. It’s a mystery for someone to give their life just for me, what you did on Calvary makes me wanna love you more.. I never knew I could be so happy, and I never knew I’d be so secure, because of your love life has brand new meaning, it’s gonna be a brighter day.. Never thought that I would smile again, never thought the dark clouds would end, never thought that I would have a friend that would keep me, never leave me alone. Jesus you’re my everything, the only one that makes my heart sing, now I know what real love means, its everlasting, lasting. Nothing can compare to the joy you bring, and everlasting love affair. Jesus my life will never be the same, I found someone who truly cares!” I truly cannot imagine my life without Him and/or going back to way I used to live. Where would I be without Jesus?? No lie, I would probably be with a chick and have a boyfriend on the side (can’t get rid of the real deal!), degrading myself by throwing it all out and posting it all over the WORLD WIDE WEB (which means “Worldwide” people, get that!) and not living to my best of my ability. I probably wouldn’t be in grad school and trying to better myself, because I would just be settling for an average life because I didn’t know better and that I can live an ABUNDANT life (John 10:10). I would still be dealing with the same drama and heartaches, trying to mend broken pieces of a unhealthy relationship together. But now that I have God, I know that I can do ALL things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me! (Philippians 4:13)
What I would say to people who wants to find out on there own of this God I speak of and why I am the way I am or do the things I do, I would simply just say, “Try Him”. If you’ve tried everything else and have yet to find that fulfillment, would it really hurt for you to give Him a go!? I mean really, what more do you have to lose??? If you are already down and out, the option He has is to bring you up and out. That’s what I finally did. The saved life is a safe life. He protects you, He provides for you, He cares for you, your safety, your wellbeing, your happiness. He gives you peace, hope, purpose, and joy; a reason to keep pressing on. There are folks who are depending on me to keep on this path I’m taking. There are seeds that has been planted by others that are waiting for me to water and there are seeds in me that are waiting to be planted in others. I can’t go back even if the devil offered me everything in the world because I realized that worldly happiness and gain is only temporary, but Spiritual happiness and gain is everlasting.
There are quite a few people I would like to thank and acknowledge whom I’ve met along the way that has truly been a blessing to me, but that would be another blog within itself! You all should know who you are though and I love each and everyone of you for all that you have done and what you are still doing. Continue praying for me as I pray for you and that goes for other as well. I pray that you will open up your heart and let Him in. This work that took place in me can also happen to you. I didn’t believe it once myself, but once I gave Him a try, I haven’t looked back since. I pray that this has been a blessing to someone and gave them the “confirmation” they needed. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
My ending song is “It’s not over (when God is in it)” by Israel and New Breed. I plays this song on REPEAT and sing it at the top of my lungs!!!